How I actually talk to strangers. Seriously.


Nama, Puji, Dengarkan, Akui or in English: Name, Praise, Listen, Acknowledge. This is a hack introduced by Bezie Manggala, a communication trainer from Bandung, West Java. Since most of the tech guy / girls are rather reluctant to talk to a new people outside the circle, I think this hack is interesting.

First and foremost, you need to be as relax as possible, don’t ever think you will hurt someone or making a mistake. Just be confident, if you know you’re saying something inappropriate or out of context, just simply stop and apologise and get back to the talking.

Nama (Name)

Call his/her name. If you want to be noticed by someone the first time you meet someone, ask his / her name politely and by shaking the person’s name, don’t show shyness, show your confidence, even if you’re not. Just relax :)

Puji (Praise)

After you got the person’s name. Find a way to praise her. Anything will do, you can praise the name, the clothes, the look, the car. Some examples: “Wow, you look great today with that suit!” “Wow, that’s a lovely name. It remembers me about Princess Diana” “You look awesome today!”

Dengarkan (Listen)

Then you need to position yourself as a good listener, ask more about the person from a simple thing, slow but sure, don’t rush things and most importantly don’t ever interrupt the person talking to you. Show to the person that you care, even if you don’t. Listen first disagree later.

Akui (Acknowledge)

Acknowledge the persons thought, before telling your opinion.

If he / she says “I feel that the director sucks big time”. you says: “I see, that’s why the revenue is stalled”

If he / she says “I think this is the time to have a new car”. you says: “I think you’re right your car is 10 years old already, but you need to be careful with the interest rate” Then you can add some talks regarding the topics.